Donald and James were cats. Large, fuzzy cats, that some might call portly. They were fat little dudes, and they loved almost everything about their house. They loved looking out the windows and chirping at birds and squirrels. They loved all the furniture they got to sit on. They loved all the furniture they got to sit underneath! They loved the toys their boss got for them, and the pieces of colorful tissue wrapping paper that she put on the floor for them to sit on. They particularly liked putting their toys on and under this paper, because it made a wonderful noise. Christmas was a very exciting time of year, because there was even more loud paper than usual! They did not love when their boss would listen to Britney Spears or Kylie Minogue. They'd look at each other, stare icily at their boss, then walk over to the basement stairs to play until the music stopped. Interestingly, they didn't seem to mind Cher. They had eclectic tastes.
For a brief, shining moment, they had had their very own business cards. They said "Donald and James: Handsome, Sassy Housecats. For All Your Door Opening Needs." If they had been consulted, they probably would have not included "sassy" as a descriptor. Their door-opening business didn't really go anywhere, mostly because they're weren't honestly all that good at opening doors after all. If a door had been improperly closed, perhaps they could eventually open it, if they really wanted to. Additionally, the business cards did not include contact information, because neither Donald nor James had an email account or a cellphone. They did have a mailing address, but were illiterate. Despite this, they enjoyed postcards.
They enjoyed sitting on postcards.