There is a psychological queasiness that comes with surgery, for me. I don't really like to think about the mechanics of bodies, or the ways that systems connect and interrelate. I like just existing. I enjoy being in the world, in this body. Surgery forces me to reckon with the flesh, and I do not care for it!
This is all to say that there have been some muscle twitches below the surgery site, and sometimes I wonder if they're even real. It's very normal, I have medication to control them, but it feels profoundly strange. It's not even painful, just unsettling. I expect them to intensify as the healing process continues.
With this particular surgery, the body wants to protect the surgical site. The impulse in the system is to draw in, hunch over, curl up. You can't do it, though, or things will connect in ways that you don't want. So I'm trying to be mindful about keeping my shoulders back, keeping my posture straight, basically doing the things my occupational therapist had my practice ahead of time. It requires effort, but it does feel better than hunching over (so that's good. it reinforces the posture I need to maintain).
I sleep well. For everything that's happened, bodywise, it's easy to find comfortable positions and then settle in.
The biggest challenge is resting. I don't like watching television or playing video games during traditional work hours, and in this particular recover process, it would actually be a great time to do those thing. I'm going to try today. Or I'll do laundry. Or I'll do both.
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