Adventures in the world

Yesterday, I went to a little Mexican restaurant on the Westside (they had very cute patio tables and they weren't busy) and had an incredible barbacoa street taco, a breakfast taco, and some aguas frescas (there was a pineapple one and a watermelon one). When I went to pay, the owner said "Can I ask you a question?" and I said yes. "Is that a port?" and then he explained that he knew it was a port, because his wife had just finished chemo and was going to be doing radiation next. We talked for a bit, he talked about how he encourages people who are going through it to just keep going, and to stay strong, and I told him how grateful I was for all the things that had aligned in my process. I told him I hoped his wife's treatment continues to go well and she recovers fully and quickly. They're going to pray for me. It was a very nice little moment out in the world, where having cancer isn't a secret, and there's community to find everywhere you go. 

Friday morning update: Not bad, a little weird

I read a thing a while back that said about ten days after chemo, you'd feel a little bit like you had a flu. They have made it very clear to me that if I get any sort of fever, I need to go directly to the hospital, so I was curious about this description. How can you feel flu-y without having a fever? Well, the mystery has been solved. I personally feel overly hot and sweaty and a little gross, but my temperature is totally normal. (I don't even feel that bad, I'm just VERY sweaty.) It's wild! I'm happy to not be running a fever, and I guess it's good practice for the future. My medical oncologist also mentioned that chemo can kick some people into menopause, so that could also be happening! Bodies are an eternal mystery. 

No nausea this morning, which was great. I am getting better about making sure I eat before I go to bed (empty stomach seems to be a big problem for me when it comes to feeling less good). They even suggested keeping snacks by the bed, which...I am a person who only eats food in designated areas of the house, so I can't even consider this as a solution yet. We'll see if things get harder!

I'll probably go for a little walk later, but I'm having a nice, quiet morning. 

Little update, doing well

Hello! Since my last post, I had another morning where I woke up a little nauseous, ate some food, took anti-nausea meds, spent some time on the couch with an ice pack and then felt better, then this morning I woke up and felt fine!

I had my check-in yesterday where I talked to one of my doctors and they did labs to see how I was doing (this is where they check my white blood cell count, platelets, a ton of other stuff) and checked in to see how I was feeling. It was a quick visit, and they scheduled my next chemo appointment for Thursday the 29th!

I rode my bike to the store again today and it was great. I also ordered a cool new helmet from a place called Thousand Bike Helmets. Their goal is to save a thousand lives with helmets. I think they have done it. (Always wear a helmet when you bike, friends. Always always always. Please. Wear seatbelts in cars, wear helmets on bicycles.)

Oh I also had a little announcement to share, in non-cancer-related stuff! https://licensinginternational.org/news/shena-wolf-joins-ko-media-management/

I'm having the weirdest year but it's good.

I did not feel great this morning but that is OK!

I have been very lucky so far, feeling pretty good in the mornings, dealing with some tiredness but nothing too severe. Yesterday, I pushed it. I did a little bike ride, I did a long walk, I had too much dinner (it's better to eat small meals spaced out when you're going through chemo, apparently), and at the end of the day I was tired but in that way where you're sore and you can't sleep well. It was fine. It was a nice reminder of all the stuff I did!

This morning, I woke up and felt just slightly not great. It wasn't bad, and I have anti-nausea meds for this exact reason. I took them (I am trying to stay ahead of bad feelings, so if I start to feel even a little bit bad, I take medication instead of waiting to see if it gets worse), I spent some time on the couch with an ice pack, I had a little coffee and a little breakfast, and I felt better. 

Then I walked to the post office to send back a radon test a friend of mine wanted me to do, and then I walked to the library to vote. 

I am currently drinking ice water and considering lunch. I'm feeling pretty good.

Boring days are still good days. 

On calculated risks and being alive (but mostly: bikes!)

When I was first diagnosed with cancer, which was not very long ago, my ob-gyn (who I have been seeing for nearly 20 years) reached out to me to say that cancer doctors were going to be focused on my cancer, and it was up to me to remember that my life wasn't just the cancer, and that there were many things that made me happy that I needed to remember to engage with as a way of staying healthy and happy as I went through this process. 

This came up today. I should explain that where I live, it's currently sunny and hot and very summery. Today is a holiday, so there aren't many people out, lots of people are doing yard work, and you can hear birds and squirrels and kids yelling playing outside. It's nice. 

I got an ebike in spring of 2022, in part because I wanted to rely less on cars, in part because I love biking, and in part because I missed having a convertible, and having an ebike seemed like a good way of getting some exercise, traveling efficiently, and experiencing that feeling of sun and wind. After getting the ebike (which I absolutely love, and would recommend to anyone thinking about getting one, and if you want recommendations I have several but briefly: Aventon has some great entry level bikes, I personally have a Charge City bike and I love it, and Terns are BEAUTIFUL and if you wanted to fully replace a car with an ebike, that's how you could do it), I started biking more in general. I have a really lovely road bike (a 2014 Raleigh Capri with Shimano 105 components) and if you've ever had a bike you loved to ride, you'll know that going anywhere on it is a joy. So last year I started biking everywhere. If there was an errand within 5 miles, I was definitely biking. If there was a patio hangout within 10 miles (and eventually 13 miles), I was biking. I got very familiar with how to get around my city on a bike, I felt good, I loved it. 

I will also mention here that sometimes I would push it, and I'd hit gravel, or I'd bike in high winds, and I'd end up falling. This is not a huge deal if you're a healthy person, most of the time! But as a person who is now going through chemo, this is a problem. I'm not going to heal the way I used to, so I need to be more careful. Initially, I decided that being more careful meant I just wouldn't bike. I assumed I'd be tired from chemo to the point where biking wouldn't even really seem possible. But today, I felt good, I needed groceries, and I wanted to bike. So I did it! 

The store is just a mile away down side streets, and there's very little traffic. It made me so happy. I have biked down mountains and I wasn't as happy as just going a mile to and from the store to get a half gallon of milk. (I also got strawberries. I can still have fresh fruit, I just have to be sure I wash it really well. I don't know if you've had summer strawberries on a hot day, but they're pretty special.)

I think if I have enough energy to bike around a little bit, I'm going to do it. This is that ephemeral "the rest of my life" that I hadn't quite understood when my doctor was telling me about it. I'm going to ride my bike sometimes, I'm going to do it as safely and carefully as I can, I'm going to get strawberries because they look good and they're on sale, and I'll wash them and mitigate my risks wherever I can, but I want to enjoy this time. Beyond that desire, I know it's possible. And so I'm going to do it. 

Maybe I won't feel as good later, and that's all right. I don't know how any of this is going to go, and I'm learning every day how I respond to the drugs and how I can manage my energy levels and when I should be taking meds to prevent nausea, etc. It's a constant process of discovery. But today I decided that I didn't need to stop doing something I loved just because I needed to be so, so careful. And that was the right choice for me. I'm so grateful for that 30 minutes of just biking to the store and back, feeling the wind and the sun, getting a little sweaty, eating a bowl of strawberries, and drinking a glass of ice water. I feel very alive. Because I am. 

Brief post-chemo update

 This is more for me in the future than for any of you, but day of chemo: very tired. Took a four hour nap. Day after chemo: Felt totally normal. Second day after chemo: TIRED. I think I may have mistimed my meds (I wanted to go to bed early but I was supposed to be taking anti-nausea meds every 8 hours and I think there was a 10 hour window between pills and that didn't help me). Third day after chemo (today!) I feel fine! It's nice.

Worth nothing that the second, third and fourth days after chemo, I take steroids and anti-nausea pills on a regular schedule. So we'll see how I feel when I hit tomorrow and I don't have those supportive meds. 

First Chemo Treatment Accomplished

I had my first chemo treatment today, and it was pretty uneventful! There's a lot of waiting while they wait for labs to come back (to see how you're doing, to make sure you're healthy enough to receive treatment, to make sure you're not pregnant -- I take pregnancy tests ALL THE TIME now and it's extremely tedious). I also had a meeting with my medical oncologist, who is great, and her nurse, who is even more amazing and answers my many, many questions about the process via the online portal for the hospital. I ask a lot of questions.

In the infusion area, everyone works with a nurse, and each nurse is managing several patients. They're very busy, and they're very nice. They put you in a little bay with a comfortable chair (with heat and massage functions), a little television, a curtain to draw if you want more privacy, and there's a snack station nearby with jello and pudding and assorted cracker and granola bar-type snacks. They also have very small cans of Shasta, juice, and probably some other stuff. I only mention all of this because a lot of people asked me about the snacks so I know this is a thing that the people want to know!

My course of medication for the day was one drip with steroids and one kind of anti-nausea medication (sort of immediate-acting stuff) and then a drip with longer last anti-nausea medication, meant to carry me through a couple of days.

As an aside: In the chemo teach (in which a nurse talks you through the process and answers any questions you may have), it was made very clear to me that if I had a weird reaction to any medication at any time during the process, I should 1. say something 2. expect a whole bunch of people to run over. Can you guess why I'm mentioning this?

That's right! When they started the second IV with the longer lasting anti-nausea medication, I felt a tightness in my chest and it felt a little hard to breathe. So I mentioned it, and they stopped the feed and EVERYONE ran over while assuring me that there was nothing to worry about (I am upsettingly chill about this whole thing and that mood continued throughout this process). Ultimately they decided to handle the longer-term anti-nausea with pills I will be taking every 8 hours for the next few days, and an IV of a different anti-nausea medication at the end of the treatment. I was very, very happy that this didn't derail any of the rest of the day. 

The chemo meds did not cause any weird reactions for me. There were two different medications I received. The first was doxorubicin, nicknamed "the red devil" because it is red and apparently it SUCKS. It can cause mouth sores, so sometimes if you suck on ice while you're getting it, it helps. So I did that. It was fine. It comes in a large syringe, and a nurse pushes it over the course of about 15 minutes while checking for blood return (what this means is they stop the feed, see if they can pull blood back through the IV, and this indicates that the line is where it needs to be and the medication is making it safely into my bloodstream). The second medication I received was cyclophosphamide, and that was just a normal drip. It took about 30 minutes. No issues. I drank a small Shasta cola and hung out.

After all of that, I got an IV injection of some anti-nausea meds, and I got to leave! I had arrived at the hospital around 8:30 in the morning, and I was done around 1:30. It felt a little bit like being in a very weird spa. 

I was supposed to call my partner to come pick me up but it was nice out and I felt ok so I walked over to his house and then everyone got mad at me (just kidding but there was a small amount of outrage about this). Then I took a FOUR HOUR NAP. 

Anyway, I feel fine for now! I've taken my anti-nausea meds for the night, I'm going to go to bed soon, and we'll see how I feel tomorrow! For the next three days, I'll be taking anti-nausea meds on a schedule and steroids on a schedule, so I would imagine I'll be feeling pretty all right. After the first few days, we'll see. I'll keep you posted.